Platypus Man
When inspiration seems to be far away I normally turn to music. This time I put the music in the story! But what is the music in the story?
He flew along on his motorcycle, watching all the ground beneath him dry. It was a hot day and the heat turned him into something he wasn’t; dried up in conversation, unable to talk and unable to make love. Platypus Man thought he had the world all sussed out but this day showed that he could be the one who will be left high and dry. The sky was falling in on him, weighed down by the heat and the swelling up of the clouds. Normally Platypus Man would want to help people, but today was different; he was hot and hated every moment of it.
The call for help came through on Platypus Man’s scoop phone at about one o’clock, “Platypus Man, we need your help, it’s the ‘Daniel Land Police Department’, Dr Spudtonic has escaped and has taken the Megasuperdooperhyper Nuclear Bomb that we-for some reason- had in the station! He plans to use it on the International Cheese convention being held at the Geebus Arena!!! Help us Platypus Man you’re our only help!â€
“Ok,†said Platypus Man in his superhero styled deep voice, “I’ll be there quicker than you can say…moist. One thing though: Why would he blow up the Cheese Convention? His brother, Cheeseotron, is there?â€
“We…don’t know, but come and find out!†proclaimed the officer as he hastily left the other end of the line. Platypus Man was suspicious: it didn’t make sense; why would the officer go like that? Why would Dr Spudtonic blow up his brother? And why is he asking all these questions with no one there to answer them?
So off he went, riding into the sun with his super Go-Go thrusters on and throwing him nearer and nearer to the Geebus Arena. The fire from his thrusters added to the hot breath of the sun and made the atmosphere almost unbearable. If it wasn’t for the fact that Platypus Man was half Platypus, half man half Chicken, then he would have been dead! For a minute there I lost myself, there is no Chicken in him as that would make him a man and a half which would quite frankly be more out of place then a drunken punch up at a wedding!
Daniel Land was drawing nearer; he could smell the sweat of the people crushed into their offices like sardines in a crushed tin box. Not long now and he would have to fight for the good of the people of this city, this kingdom full of subterranean homesick aliens and scatterbrains. Not knowing what to do and where to go, like rabbits with myxomatosis. Thinking that 2+2=5 but at the same time, managing to justify their feeble lives that Platypus Man had to guard. He didn’t like the people of Daniel Land, they were rude and the street spirit was one that gave him the creeps. People always thought they were up in the clouds but in reality they were the lowest of the low. Platypus Man was sick of it all but felt he would be just as bad if he were to start cracking their little sculls.
The Geebus Arena was massive, a generous congregation of steel, iron, concrete and other fake plastic things. This place was a waste of trees, time and effort in the eyes of Platypus Man. It held 110,000 but rarely met this level of attendance; most people were too poor to go or were just not attracted by the acts on offer. Phil Collins, Indoor Bowls, Nickelback, Cheese Conventions, Chocolate Convention, Cactus Arranging Conventions and sometimes the dizzy heights of The Nokia 3210 appreciation society…convention. Without doubt this place had the best seats, lights, floor, bars, boxes, backstage and everything else that is synonymous with an arena but the worst line up of events.
What made it worse is that this enormous waste of money was put on top of a park that had been used by children for years and years. The one place where people could get away from life in the glass house, the one place where mates could become fitter and happier without having to go to the extortionately priced gym three times a week and the one place where nature was free to roam and walk without having to look behind its back, without being in a cage. Nature at this park was like air: free.
Platypus Man slowly climbed the stairs, ready to pounce on anything that might come his way; he clutched his Platypus-Ray that had been his trusty companion over the last decade. The numerous encounters with the Lurgee Brothers or the occasion where he had to foil the plan of Black Star to give everyone an Iron Lung by polluting the earth with poisonous fumes. Something that sadly had already been done by the many corporations that plague this earth. He entered the building the rain drops starting to fall out of the sky, warm rain that doesn’t cool you down but just adds to the humidity of this evil summer’s day. It was even hotter in the Geebus Arena, which was weird as the air conditioning normally turns the place into a fridge when there are things on.
There was no one there. Cheese wasn’t the most exciting thing for most people but then not everyone is most people. The Cheese Conventions normally attract at least a couple of thousand, but it was completely empty. Not even a mouse to muster up a bit of noise. It was a trick. Platypus Man had been tricked, but by whom?
“Muhaha, you fool! Couldn’t you tell it was me?†shouted Dr Spud, with an evil smile and an equally evil glare.
“And me, the great Cheeseotron! I was the one who created this plan and now you are surrounded by our minions, you are ours! And without you, we can rule Daniel Land and there is nothing you can do to stop us!†Laughed Cheeseotron who unlike his brother, had a high pitched voice. Cheeseotron was only 17 and had started puberty very late so his voice hadn’t broken yet; he was still full of iniquity though.
“You have to choices Platypus Man; you can either fight us and our army or join us in taking over Daniel Land, and then, the world! Which will it be?†asked Dr Spud. Platypus man had beads of sweat crawling down the walls of his face; his palms were swimming pools of sweat. His brain was wiring away, weighing up the options; a decade of being a superhero and what for? He gets no wage, he gets no benefits, he rarely gets thanks and he gets called an idiot by some people for not showing his true identity in order to get some money from a glossy intrusive celebrity magazine. On the other hand, the police are incompetent and the few good people of Daniel Land would be in trouble without him. Should they pay for the rest being scum, or should he pay for there being a few decent souls in this hell hole of a town? He had come to a decision.
As the exit music played and the karma police failed, Platypus Man left the world. He let the two kill him so he could escape this prison, this cell, this cage, this straightjacket, this vice, this chain, this life. He was free.
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hey, wasn’t this an essay you did for Miss Hunter back in lower 6th??
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ESSAY!
No twas a creative piece u numpty! And was Miss Montogmery!
What was the band tho?